


Ninja Coffee Stealers

by TrafalgarNeo



Category: Naruto, Naruto X One Piece crossover, One Piece
Genre: Drabble, Naruto x One Piece Crossover - Freeform, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-11 10:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13522410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrafalgarNeo/pseuds/TrafalgarNeo
Summary: Naruto drinks coffee for the first time ever. Something happens as he starts acting abnormal and he is able to control his friends. They sets sail to steal all the coffee in the world. (crackfic, drabble nonsense, OC/Law, some OOCness on purpose)





	1. Naruto Drinks Coffee

Naruto Drinks Coffee

Naruto groaned as he entered into his favorite ramen stand. He sat down on the stool and dropped his chin to the counter with a groan.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" Teuchi asked. "Having a bad day?"

"More like a boring day," Naruto said. "We don't have any missions and everyone's busy doing other things. I think I'm going to die of boredom."

Teuchi laughed. "Don't worry, Naruto. You're not going to die of boredom. Why don't you train?"  
"I've been training all day," Naruto said. "That got boring too."

"I see," Teuchi said. "I guess you're here for some ramen?"

"Do I ever come here for anything else?" Naruto asked.

"I'll have it out in a few minutes," Teuchi said.

Naruto sighed as he waited for his ramen. Before long the steamy bowl was placed in front of him with a clank. He pulled himself up off the counter and pulled apart his chopsticks. "Thanks for the ramen."

"Eat in good healthy," Teuchi said before noticing some other guests walking into his booth. He smiled and walked over to them. "Good evening. How may I help you?"

"Two bowls of your best ramen and two cups of coffee," one said.

"Coming right up," Teuchi said.

Naruto slurped his noodles down mindlessly until they were almost all gone. "Hey, old man, can I have some water?"

"Sure thing, Naruto." Teuchi grabbed a glass and filled it full of water before placing it down for his best customer. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Naruto took a drink then sat the glass back down. After finishing his ramen he reached for his glass and took a sip. A bitter taste flooded into his mouth, making him spit the liquid back into the cup. He looked down at it. "What the heck is this stuff? Coffee? Why is there a coffee cup here?" He looked to his right to find a couple other men in the shop with him. "Oh…I best this is one of theirs. How can people drink this stuff? It's horribly bitter." He paused in thought before taking a drink of it. "And yet some how it's rather satisfying."

Naruto guzzled the coffee down. Placing the mug down, he pulled out his money and placed it down on the counter before leaving. "See you later, old man."

"Have a nice night, Naruto," Teuchi called after him.

"Now let's see," Naruto said. "What shall I do now? I wonder where everyone else is. Maybe I should go find them and see if they want to do something. I'll bet Shikamaru and Choji are eating barbecue. Sakura's probably with Grandma Tsunade. Bushy Brow might want to have some fun. Or maybe he'll train with me. He's always training. I think I'll go find him."

Naruto broke out into a run. He headed towards the training ground where Lee and his teammates were usually training. While running a strange tickled settled into the back of his mind. A mischievous smirk spread over his lips the closer he got to his destination. Sounds of Lee's training soon found him. Rounding a tree he found the black haired young man kicking and punching a padded training post. He laughed.

"Huh?" Lee turned to him when he heard Naruto's laugh. "Oh, Naruto. I did not know you were there."

"That coffee was some drink. I think I want more of it," Naruto said a little drool running down his chin.

"What?" Lee asked.

Naruto tilted his head and laughed again. "What are you up to, Bushy Brow?"  
"I was training," Lee said. He eyed Naruto's rosy cheeks and the odd gleam in his eyes before noticing the drool on his friend's chin. "Are you feeling okay, Naruto? You look a bit…weird. And you have some drool on your chin."

"Bushy Brow." Naruto stepped forward and placed his arm around Lee's shoulders. "Have you ever heard of this delectable drink called coffee?"

"As a matter of fact I have, Naruto," Lee said. "In fact, I think everyone has heard of it."

"It's an amazing drink," Naruto said with a chuckle. "So amazing."

"Glad you found something you like," Lee said confused at his friend's actions. "But what does this have to do with me?"

"I want more," Naruto said. "I want more coffee."

"Okay," Lee said. "Then go get you some more. You can buy it just about anywhere."

"I don't just want a cup," Naruto said. "I want it all."

"You want it all?" Lee asked. "Are you feeling okay, Naruto?"

"Yes," Naruto said. "I want it all." He looked Lee in the eyes. "And you're going to help me."

"What?" Lee asked. "Why would I do that?"

"You're going to help me gather up all of the coffee in the whole world," Naruto said.

"I am afraid I cannot do that," Lee said. "I have training I must do."

"You are coming with me," Naruto said. He tightened his arm around Lee's shoulder and placed his free hand over his mouth. A reddish brown glow appeared around his hand and engulfed into Lee's skin.

"Naruto!" Lee mumbled from behind Naruto's hand as he struggled to get free. "What are you doing?!"

"I said you're going to help me!" Naruto said before chackling. Lee's body relaxed under his hold so he released him. "You're going to help me gather all of the coffee in the world."

"Yes, Naruto," Lee said, his eyes glazed over as his arms hung at his sides. "I will help you get the coffee."

"Very good." Naruto nodded. "Let's gather the rest of our friends. We'll need their help. And we'll need a ship to travel to other islands."

"As you wish, Naruto," Lee said. "Would you like me to get a ship ready?"

"Let's gather up a few other friends," Naruto said. "Then you can take them and get a ship ready."

"Very well, Naruto," Lee said. "As you wish."

"I bet Shikamaru and Choji are at their favorite barbeque place," Naruto said. "We'll look for them there."

"Sure thing, Naruto," Lee said.


	2. Friends Gathered

Friends Gathered

            Naruto and Lee ran towards their destination. The smell of the barbecue became more and more pronounced, as they got closer to the building. They walked into the building, scanned their eyes around until they found their friends, and then walked over to them. With a smile Naruto sat down beside Shikamaru and said, “Hey there buddy. What’s going on?”  
            “Um, nothing much,” Shikamaru said. “Just eating with Choji.”

            “And how about you, Choji?” Lee asked.

            “Huh?” Choji looked at the ninja beside him. “I think Shikamaru already answered that.”

            “Of course,” Lee said. “But how are you doing?”

            “I’m fine,” Choji said.

            “What’s going on here?” Shikamaru asked. “Are you two feeling okay? You seem a bit…odd.”

            “Oh, we’re just fine,” Naruto said.

            “Yes, yes,” Lee said with several nods of his head. “We are fine indeed.”

            “Uh huh.” Shikamaru exchanged confused looks with Choji. He looked down at the grill on the table and placed another piece of meat on it. The meat sizzled and filled the air with its delicious aroma. “That’s nice.”

            “Actually,” Naruto said. “There is something we could use your help on.”

            “And what’s that?” Choji asked.

            “We’re going on a little mission to gather up all of the coffee in the world,” Naruto said.

            Shikamaru and Choji looked at their blonde haired friend in disbelief before laughing out loud.

            “Gathering up all the coffee!” Choji said. “That’s hilarious!”

            “Where did that come from?” Shikamaru asked after composing himself. “Even if it was possible we’re not going to do it. It’s a pointless waste of time. If you want coffee then just go buy some at the store.”

            “That won’t do,” Naruto said. He lifted his hand. The glow appeared back around it.

            “What the heck is that?!” Choji asked.

            “What’s going on, Naruto?” Shikamaru asked.

            “You’re coming with me,” Naruto said. The glow flowed out from his hand and into Shikamaru and Choji’s mouths. The eyes of his two targets glazed over, their bodies went limp. “Good you are now under my control. Now let’s finish up this delicious meat and get out of here.”

            “Yes, Naruto,” Choji and Shikamaru said. They all dug into the meat that was left and then left the building.

            “Where are we going to now, Naruto?” Lee asked.

            “Let’s pick up their last member of their team,” Naruto said.

            “Ino will be at her family’s flower shop,” Choji said.

            Naruto nodded then led the way to the shop. They stepped inside to find Ino humming to herself and arranging some flowers in a vase.

            “Oh,” Ino said when she saw her friends. “I didn’t know you were there. What’s up, guys?”  
            “We need you for a mission,” Naruto said.

            “Really?” Ino asked. “I didn’t know we were going on a mission.”

            “Oh, yes.” Naruto held up his hand. The glow appeared again and flowed over to her. “It’s a mission to get coffee.”

            “What the heck is going on?” Ino demanded.

            “It’s all right, Ino,” Shikamaru said. “Just take the glow. Naruto knows what he’s doing.”

            “You’re crazy!” Ino ran out from behind the counter but was cut off by Lee. “Get out of the way, Lee.”

            “You cannot escape from us,” Lee said.

            “You will come,” Shikamaru said.

            “Yes, you will,” Naruto said.

            “What’s going on?!” Ino asked against just before the glow entered into her mouth. Her eyes glazed over. “I’m here. Let’s go.”

            “We need to gather the rest of our friends,” Naruto said.

            “Sakura is at the hospital,” Ino said. “She should be walking home soon.”

            “Then let’s go,” Naruto said. He led them back out of the building and towards the hospital. Just as Ino said their pink haired friend was walking down the street from the hospital.

            “Oh, hey guys,” Sakura said when she saw them. “What’s up?”

            “We’re going on a mission,” Naruto said stepping up to his friend. He placed his hand on her shoulder and lean in close to her. When she looked at him his hand started glowing again. “And you’re coming with us.”

            “I can’t,” Sakura said just before the glow entered into her mouth. “I’m going to…work with…okay, Naruto. I’m with you.”

            “Good,” Naruto said. “Only four more to go then we can leave. Hinata and Neji should be at home. Let’s go get them” He took the lead to the Huuga compound. “We’re going to have to be stealthy on this one. Neji might notice before I can get control over him.”

            “Shall we distract him?” Sakura asked.

            “Perhaps that would be best. Shikamaru can trap him with his shadows,” Naruto said. They continued to run to the compound. Naruto jumped up to the roof of the building. He signaled them to go ahead and they stepped up to the door and knocked on it.

            “What’s going on?” Neji asked after opening the door.

            “Neji, please come outside,” Shikamaru said. “We have to talk to you.”

            Neji stepped off of the porch. “What’s this about?”

            “We need your help,” Lee said. “Naruto needs coffee.”

            “What?” Neji asked.

            “Now!” Naruto said. As he leaped off the porch Shikamaru attached his shadow to the gifted ninja.

            “What’s going on?!” Neji demanded.

            “You’ll know soon enough,” Naruto said before taking Neji under his control. “Let’s go. Kiba and Shino are next and then Tenten.”

            Like before Naruto lead his growing group of ninjas to the remaining three before leading them down to the docks of the village. They silently slipped through the night, going undetected by most. But even if they were seen no one stopped to question them. They were friends after all. And it was normal to see them together.

            Naruto landed on the deck of a quiet ship. He laughed. “And now we are setting sail! My plan has begun!”

            The glow surrounded Naruto’s body. It spread out once more to his friends, engulfing them. The sails dropped. The wind picked up. The ship set out to sea without anyone touching it. Naruto’s laugh grew louder and more manically as they sailed out farther and farther into the water. “The coffee will be mine!”


	3. The First Coffee Bean Caper

The First Coffee Bean Caper

Maniacal laughter spread out through the warm air. It was Naruto. Standing at the front of the ship with his arms out wide. For five days now they had been traveling to their first destination. It was Shikamaru who did the research on the islands. And finally their target island was in sight. But they were unable to attack yet. He had decided it would be better if they waited until night to fall. That way they could get in and out without hurting anyone. Hurting people was a big no on his agenda. He would only do it if people forced him into it. And that was something he was going to try and avoid if he could.

The ship pulled up to the docks. The ninja gathered on the docks and waited for Naruto's orders. He leaped down with them and said, "We still have a couple hours before the sun sets. Let's scope out the plantation and see what kind of plan we need to have."

"Yes, Naruto," the ninja said before taking off into the town.

Naruto followed after them at a slower pace. He scanned his eyes around the town. It seemed as normal as any other town that he had seen. Stores were conducting business, adults were talking, kids were playing, and a few dogs and cats were running or laying about the streets. Yes, there was nothing out of the ordinary here, with the exception of them of course. As far as he could tell no one seemed to notice who they were. They had never been to this island before. He figured this would be the best place to start. It was one of the smaller plantations.

Then he smelled it, that delectable aroma that was called coffee. Sniffing the air he followed it into a restaurant. Looking around he found several people were inside. He pulled out and opened his wallet. His heart sank and his taste buds about jumped off his tongue. The only thing he had in his wallet was a moth, to which he had no idea how it got in there. It flew out and away from him leaving the empty wallet behind. "Great. I have no money on me." His shoulders dropped then perched back up. "I know!"

Naruto ran back outside. Running into the alleyway, he formed a shadow clone. The two smiled at each other. "This is so going to be good. You cause a distraction while I grab the coffee."

"Sounds good to me," the Naruto clone said.

The real Naruto waited until his clone was inside. He watched from the window as his clone self started talking to a waitress. Once his clone started throwing things around, he slipped back into the building. Tiptoeing he rushed as quickly as he could into the kitchen, grabbed the two pots of coffee, and left the building.

"Well, goodbye," the shadow clone said before disappearing, leaving the crowd in a state of confusion.

"That was so great!" Naruto screamed. He ran into the small forest just outside the town. He blew on the coffee until it cooled enough then drank it. "So good!"

Naruto leaped into the air. Planting his shoes on the nearest tree, he ran around, leaping, and dancing around the forest. "So yummy! Coffee so good! And soon you will be all mine!"

More maniacal laughter erupted from Naruto. His blood pumped hard, making his move faster and faster.

"Naruto!" Sakura called a few hours later. "Naruto!"

"I'm here!" Naruto jumped down from the tree he was in. He landed in front of his teammate. He bounced up and down in front of her.

"We have scouted out the terrain," Sakura said. "We can pull the ship right up to the back of the plantation and move all the beans out. Shikamaru and Choji already moved the ship. And there are no security guards watching the fields."

"Good, good." Naruto rubbed his hands together. "And where are the others?"

"They are scattered around the fields waiting for your next orders," Sakura said. "The sun has set as well. It took a long time to find you."

"It's all right." Naruto headed out of the woods. "Let's do this!"

"Right." Sakura nodded and followed him.

Once they reached the plantation the two split up. Running in the moonlight they reached their friends and started when their plan. Using their Justus and skills they kicked, plucked, and knocked off the beans.

"Expansion Justu!" Choji said. Reaching his larger form, he grabbed several trees and pulled them out of the air. He shook them over the ship until they were clean. He then placed the trees back into the ground and moved on to the next group.

Naruto made as many clones as he possible could. They spread out and grabbed as many beans as they could before dumping them on the ship. Then, just as the sun came up, they had every single bean on their ship. They climbed aboard and headed out before the workers could come and see what they had done.

Naruto jumped into the middle of the coffee beans. With a deep breath he breathed in the wonderful smell. "It's ours! All ours! Make me coffee now!"

"Yes, Naruto," his friends said. They picked up several handfuls of the beans and disappeared into the kitchen.

Naruto stayed out on the ship. Swimming around in the beans he envisioned how he would soon have them all. He leaped up. He bounced off every part of the ship until he landed in the crow's nest. Throwing out his arms he screamed, "Yes! The coffee is mine! You just wait and see! One day I'm going to be Hokage of the Coffee!"

And that's how it went. From that day on, Naruto and his band of ninjas went from island to island, stealing all of the coffee beans they came across. While delighting in their coffee caper, they all were unaware of the trouble they were causing and the trouble that was making them targets.


	4. The Counter Attack Begins:  Pirates, People, & Soldiers Across the Lands

The Counter Attack Begins

Pirates, People, & Soldiers Across the Lands

At the Navy Headquarters several soldiers of all ranks were gathered around to discuss the thief of the coffee beans.

"This is an outrage!" Akainu said. He slammed his hands down on the table where the newspaper laid out before him. "They must be stopped!"

"And soon," Aokiji said. "More and more riots are being reported over the world. People are just too cranky without their coffee."

"We want our coffee!"

"We want our coffee!"

"We want our coffee!"

"We want our coffee!"

"Those soldiers are going insane," Kizaru said as he stared out at the chanting marines down on the ground. Some of them were in fights with each other. "We need to do something. We won't have any marines if this keeps up."

"The get ready to set sail," Akainu said. "We're going to stop these ninjas already." He spun around and faced his fellow marines. "I'm dying for a cup of coffee!"

…

On an island somewhere in the Grand Line, the normal citizens were also losing their minds from the lack of coffee. Teachers and parents were falling asleep, work went undone, and kids were going unfed. Several fights had even broken out among them. The doctors and nurses were working around the clock to try and keep up with all the wounded people that came seeking their help. But without their coffee a lot were falling asleep on the job. A doctor ran over to one of his nurses. "What are you doing?! Wake up! We have wounded to deal with!"

"Not now, Mommy." The nurse rolled over on the bed.

"And get off that bed! It's for wounded not you!" the doctor said. He turned to the door when he heard people shouting.

"This is an outrage!"

"Why isn't someone doing something about this?!"

"It's the navy's fault! They should be protecting our coffee!"

"I say we take out the navy then go after these ninjas!"

"Yeah! Stand up to the navy! Stop the ninjas!"

"Yeah! Stand up to the navy! Stop the ninjas!"

"Yeah! Stand up to the navy! Stop the ninjas!"

"Let's go!"

"Oh dear." The doctor watched as the people ran towards the dock and leaped on a ship. Within seconds the ship sailed off.

…

Somewhere in the New World, even the emperors of the sea were having trouble without their coffee. Shanks glared out at the sea. "Who is doing this?! Who are these ninjas?!"

"As far as anyone can tell, they are from the Leaf Village," Benn said. "The Hokage of that village is sending out more ninjas squads to try and stop them. But the coffee stealers have so far avoided being caught."

"No more!" Shanks bellowed. "I can't take it anymore! I need my coffee! We're going to set sail, men!"

"Aye! Off with their heads!" the crew sang. They boarded their ship and took off.

…

"Coffee! Coffee!" Big Mom shouted as she stomped over the island of Whole Cake. She knocked and pushed over buildings, and munched on them.

The people screamed and ran away from her rampage as buildings fell down.

"This is horrible!"

"Someone must do something!"

"Get Mama some coffee!

"There is none!"

"We're going to die!"

"Someone must do something!"

"Where are those ninjas hiding?!"

"No one knows!"

…

Else where in the New World, a couple of the Super Novas were gathered together. Some of them were having just as much trouble without their coffee. The Straw Hats and a few of the Heart Pirates were scattered around the deck of the Sunny on this warm, coffeeless day.

"This just can't be happening!" Sanji said. He crinkled the newspaper in his hands. "It's an outrage!"

"Calm down," Zoro said. "Its just coffee."

"Just coffee?!" Sanji snapped. "It's not just coffee! It's essential! Don't you see how my precious Nami has been going out of her mind since the coffee plantations have been under attack?!"

The two men looked over at Nami. The orange hair woman was tied up. Growling she bit Usopp's leg when he walked by. "Give me my coffee!"

"Ah! She's biting me!" Usopp screamed. "Get her off!"

"She's so funny!" Luffy said laughing.

"It's not funny!" Usopp said. "Someone help me!"

"She's out of control," Franky said.

"Isn't there something you can do for her, Chopper?" Brook asked.

"I'm afraid not," Chopper said. "She just needs her coffee."

"I can make some more," Neo said. She summoned a couple earth crystals.

"You're not her personally coffee bean making machine," Law said. "I can feel you're tired. You should be thinking about our baby not making coffee beans."

"It's fine, Law." Neo leaned against his, resting her head on his shoulder. She slipped her hand into his while cupping her stomach with her other hand. "We're both fine. This baby's not coming for a few more months."

"But the captain's right," Penguin said.

"You can't keep making coffee," Shachi added. "You're going to continue to wear yourself out. You don't want the captain to put you on bed rest."

"I guess not," Neo said banishing her crystals.

"We have to do something." Bepo nodded. "Even some of our crewmembers are having issues without having their coffee."

"How can you all be so calm?!" Nami demanded before chomping down on Usopp's leg again.

"Stop biting me!" Usopp said.

"She's so hostile," Robin said.

"You're not helping!" Usopp said. "Luffy, please! Let's do something about this!"

"Okay, okay," Luffy said. "We'll go after the ninjas. It could be fun."

"Is that all you think about? Fun?" Law asked.

"You're still asking him that?" Neo asked.

"Luffy's got a point," Zoro said. "Even the Navy has had a hard time in tracking them down."

"Don't worry about it," Luffy said. "It'll be fine. We'll fine them."

"Maybe Neo can help us," Sanji said. "All she's got to do is sense where a huge mountain of coffee beans are."

"Stop trying to use my love to find your pathetic coffee!" Law snapped.

"Someone's cranky," Zoro said.

"Appear a certain doctor is getting grumpy without his coffee too," Usopp said.

"Just shut up and set sail," Law grumbled.

"Yeah! We're off!" Luffy cheered.

"I just hope we'll be fine without Nami's navigation skills," Chopper said.

"I can take her place until she gets better," Bepo said.

"Let's set sail then," Sanji said.

"Tell the crew we're setting sail," Law said.

"You got it, Captain," Shachi said. Turning away from them he ran over to the edge of the ship and jumped over to the sub.

Before long the two water vessels were sailing off into the distance.


	5. Getting Back to Normal

Getting Back to Normal

Over the next few days the pirates, people, and soldiers sailed the seas in search for the ninjas that had some how stolen all of their coffee beans. And by some miracle, or by the one writing this, they managed to track down the ninjas. They were located on a medium size island. Trees surrounded a large opening in the middle of the island. The pirates, people, and Navy all gathered on different sides of the island not knowing the others were there.

The citizens gathered together on the east side of the island. "Are we ready?"

"Yeah!" They held up their weapons of shovels, ropes, pitchforks, and pans.

"Let's get them!"

They cheered and head through the forest that divided them and the ninjas.

…

Over on the west side of the island the Navy gathered together.

"We have finally arrived," Akainu said. "Are you ready?"  
The Navy soldiers nodded. Those with devil fruit powers summoned their abilities before they headed into the forest.

...

Over on the north side of the island Shanks and his crew arrived. They gathered on the island, ready to take back their coffee.

"Let's go, men!" Shanks said. His crew cheered and followed him into the woods. "Hm?"  
"What is it, Captain?" Benn asked.

"I can sense Neo near by," Shanks said. "I hope there's nothing wrong."

"We'll know soon enough," Yasopp said.

…

Over on the south side of the island, the Straw Hats and Heart Pirates arrived on the island. They landed and headed into the forest.

"You sure this is the place?" Usopp asked.

"I'm sure," Neo said.

"How can you doubt her?" Brook asked. "We all saw the mountain of coffee beans."

"Coffee!" Nami said. She pulled on the rope they had tied around her waist. "Coffee! I can smell it!"

"We're getting close, Nami," Sanji said. "Just be a little patient for a little bit longer."

"Hey, I can sense Godfather," Neo said.

"You mean Shanks is here?" Luffy asked.

"I wonder why he would be here," Zoro said.

"Probably the same as us," Penguin said. "You know we're not the only ones who are upset about the coffee."

"Then we're not going to be alone in this fight," Bepo said.

"I'm sure he senses Neo as well," Shachi said.

…

"Mine! All mine!" Naruto said as he swam through the pile of coffee beans.

Kiba sniffed the air. "Hey, we've got company."

"Byakugan." Neji and Hinata looked over the island.

"Multiple people are coming towards us," Neji said.

"They're coming from all sides," Hinata added.

"What?!" Naruto jumped off the pile of beans. "Well, get ready to fight! I will not allow them to take my coffee!"

The ninjas scattered out. Hidden in the shadows they waited until the people came into view.

"Attack!" Naruto shouted. They charged into battle. The once peaceful island erupted into a war zone, each person using their individual skill to fight.

A few, however, stood back and just watched the carnage in front of them.

"This is crazy," Zoro said.

"Why are they acting like this?" Chopper asked.

"It feels like someone is playing a trick on us or something," Usopp said. "I mean we found this place way too easy."

"Doesn't matter," Neo said. "It'll be over soon."

"I hope you're right," Law said.

"You're not going to fight?" Neo looked up at him.

"I'm not making a fool out of myself for some silly drink," Law said.

Neo turned her eyes back to the fight just as Shanks appeared.

"Hey! Neo! How are you doing?!" Shanks grabbed two shadow clones of Narutos. Knocking their heads together they disappeared.

"I'm doing okay," Neo said. "I see you're having issues without coffee too."

"You could say that," Shanks said. "I'd love to talk more but I have to get my coffee."

"Okay." Neo waved as he headed back into the fight. "Have fun."

Hours later, the fight began to slow down.

"Finally," Usopp said. "It looks like the fight is finally ending."

"About time," Chopper said. "I'm so bored."

"No! No!" Naruto said as he was being tied up in ropes. "My coffee!"

"It's all of our coffee, brat," a civilian said.

"I've made up some coffee!" Sanji shouted out. Several people cheered and moved towards the large pot of coffee he had mixed up. They all gathered around and breathed the coffee scent in.

"This was too weird," Usopp said. "I still say something out of the ordinary happened here."

"Just enjoy your coffee," Franky said.

"So yummy!" Nami said with a steaming cup in her hand. "Smells and tastes great!"

"Your friends are right." Yasopp slapped his son on the shoulder. "Just enjoy yourself."

"Why am I the only one who thinks this isn't right?" Usopp said.

"Don't worry, Usopp," Neo said. "It's almost over."

"And how do you know that?" Usopp asked.

"Because the writer told me so," Neo said.

"It's official," Usopp said. "You've gone crazy."

"No, that would be Naruto," Neo said. "He had a bizarre reaction to the coffee because of the author's boredom."

"Sure," Usopp said.

"Listen to my goddaughter," Shanks said. "She knows what she's talking about."

"I'll never listen to a pirate," Akainu said.

"Shut up and drink your coffee," Benn said.

"This is odd," Aokiji said. "We should leave soon before we come to our sense."

The Navy soldiers agreed. After loading up as much coffee beans on their ships, they headed back to the headquarters so they could distribute the coffee. Next the citizens headed off with their own boatloads of coffee.

"Oh man," Kiba said. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Shikamaru said. "But my head hurts like crazy."

"Where are we?" Tenten asked.

"Looks like they're snapping out of it," Neo said.

"Out of what?" Brook asked.

"We'll know soon enough," Law said. He walked over to the ninjas and bent down. "Why did you take all the coffee beans?"

"What are you talking about?" Shikamaru asked.

"Wait," Sakura said. "I think I'm remembering. It was Naruto. He did something to us."

"I remember," Lee said. "He kept going on about coffee."

The pirates listened to each ninja as they told them what they remembered.

"It sounds like Naruto did have a bizarre reaction to coffee," Chopper said as they all turned their eyes to the blonde boy.

"So yummy," Naruto said in his sleep. He opened his eyes and sat up and found everyone staring at him. "What's going on? Why are you all looking at me like that? Who are you people?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! And I'm going to be King of the Pirates!" Luffy said.

Law rolled his eyes and told Naruto what happened.

"What?! That's insane!" Naruto said.

"You've caused us a lot of trouble," Nami said.

"Just stay away from coffee from now on," Sanji said.

"Sure thing," Naruto said. "Man, what a bizarre event."

"You're telling me," Usopp said. "Is this over yet?"  
"Yes, it's over," Neo said.

"Good. I hope nothing like this ever happens again," Usopp said.

"That all depends on the author," Neo said with a smile. "Other pointless stuff might happen if she get's bored enough to do it."

A shiver ran up and down Usopp's spine. "Great. Just great." He paused. "Wait a second. Wasn't Big Mom mentioned? What happened to her?"

Everyone exchanged looks of worry.


End file.
